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Are We There Yet?

5/27/2013

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It’s hard to be patient when there’s a long road ahead. Maybe your goals feel way beyond reach. That's when it's best just to enjoy the journey.     


A couple of years ago we drove to Florida. We would have preferred to fly, but the cost of five airline tickets convinced us otherwise. As I packed for the trip, I was determined to make our 18 hours on the road as enjoyable as possible.

So away we went with a tote full of electronic gadgets, movies, music, travel-sized board games and my long list of “games to play in the car.” And you know what? It was actually pretty fun!

At one point, we started listening to songs that were popular when I was a kid. Memories from my childhood started flooding back. I couldn’t resist telling the girls all about them.

Head over Heels by the Go-Go’s reminded me of junior high skating parties. Eye of the Tiger reminded me of playing in the band at high school basketball games. Footloose reminded me of when I tried out for Pom Pon my freshman year.

Curt joined in, admitting that when he was a paperboy, he listened to the entire Footloose soundtrack (on cassette tape of course!) every day as he delivered newspapers.

Who could have guessed that a bunch of old songs could spark so much conversation? The kids learned more about us (probably more than they cared to know), and for awhile, we remembered what it was like to be a kid.

Another thing that made the drive more enjoyable was stopping in Nashville. Normally Curt is a big advocate of driving straight through on long road trips. This time we spent a day in Nashville. We watched a show at the Grand Ole Opry, visited the Country Music Hall of Fame, and ate some great BBQ at the Wild Horse Saloon.

By the time we arrived in Florida, we’d already made many great memories.

When I think about that trip to Florida, it reminds me of some things I need to keep in mind as I pursue my writing goals. Maybe you’ll find these helpful as well.                                       

Learn all you can along the way.
Madison learned how to read a map. Taylor learned that she actually liked Billy Joel. By the time we got there, we’d all learned something new!

Celebrate small accomplishments.
Reaching your destination can be great, but it's also the end of that particular journey.  I don’t want to be so focused on the destination that I forget to enjoy the steps it took to get there. Our main goal was to hit the beach, but every time we crossed a state line we celebrated. No matter how long the trip, I want to enjoy the journey.

Don’t give up. You might be closer than you think.
It’s always fun when a girl falls asleep – and then wakes up in another state. “What? We’re in Florida? Yaaay!”  

I'm sure there'll be some unpleasant experiences along the way to achieving my goals. Aching legs. Road construction. Motion sickness. But persevering through it all makes reaching the destination that much sweeter!

*Road photo by seaskylab / www.freedigitalphotos.net
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Destin, Florida April 2012
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Tractor Tunes

5/20/2013

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PictureMy girls also enjoyed Grandpa's tractors
When I was a little girl growing up on a farm, I had lots of fun riding my dad's tractor. I know this probably wouldn't be allowed today, but I’d face backwards, safely resting back-to-back against my dad, with my little legs swaying as we bounced along.

I liked seeing the sites along the well-worn path on the way to the field. We’d pass by three or four cows with busy jaws, their brown eyes staring blankly at me. Barn swallows darted in and out of the hog house. A couple of horses stomped and swatted at pesky flies.

Then came the exciting part. I’d hold my breath and hang on tightly as we headed down a steep hill toward the creek. Slowly, the tractor tilted from side-to-side as we made our way through the narrowest part of the creek.

Tractor tires gripped the mushy ground, forcing deep tracks into the mud, and flinging tiny specs of cool water onto my bare legs. Finally, Dad gave the throttle a firm shove and we were back on our way.

It didn’t matter what kind of field work we did. My job was always the same -- enjoying the ride and listening to the steady rhythmic pop-pop-pop of the John Deere 70. We’d plod along while a song filled my mind.

“I’ve been working on the railroad, all the live, long day …” 

Then without warning, the melody that crept into my head somehow slipped out of my mouth. Before I knew it, I was humming along with the tractor. But who could stop at humming? I looked around. Just me and the open field. So I belted out my new improved version.

“I’ve been singing on the tractor, all the live, long day … I’ve been making up a new song, just to pass the time away …”

My legs swung along to the rhythm with the tractor.

Dad’s tractor kept perfect time for any song I’d sing. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, Mary had a Little Lamb, even 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. The warm sun and gentle breeze accompanied countless tunes until late afternoon.

Then panic hit.

How long had I been singing? I was so absorbed in my daydreams, I’d forgotten all about Dad! I jerked around to see the same rough hands still solidly gripping the wheel. I felt relieved -- and a little embarrassed. Smiling to myself, I realized Dad had been there all along.

It’s been a long time since I’ve sat back-to-back with my dad on a tractor. These days, I spend my time behind the wheel of a minivan hauling three kids to piano lessons and ball practices.  

Sometimes I miss those old days. I never watched where I was going, but it really didn’t matter. I was with my dad, who knew our destination. And there was always a song in my heart on the back of Dad’s tractor.

*As printed in Farm & Ranch Living Magazine July/Aug 2012

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Three Great Reminders from My Little Gymnast

5/14/2013

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PictureMadison @ State - April 2013
The noisy gym is full of activity. Everywhere you look, girls are cart-wheeling and back-flipping. They’re swinging on bars and kicking into handstands. But I’m only focused on one girl. And it’s her turn on the balance beam.

A judge nods. Madison takes a deep breath and hops onto the tiny platform. I zoom in with the video camera.

I’ve seen this routine dozens of times. But today it’s tough to watch. Today is not her day.

She starts out fine. A little unsteady on a turn, but she immediately corrects herself. Then she leans forward, holding her leg at a 90-degree angle. Unexpectedly she loses her balance and drops to the mat. Bummer.  

Without missing a beat, she hops back onto the beam. She leaps. And turns. She’s still a little shaky. Finally it’s time for her dismount. She kicks her legs into a hand-stand, struggling to hold it in place. I catch my breath as she lands on the wrong side of the beam. Oh Maddie!     

Again, she climbs back up. But she moves too quickly. As she stands to her feet, her arms flail and down she goes! Oh Madison! My heart drops. I know how hard she has worked. The many hours she has practiced. Yet today she has fallen – not once or twice – but three times! Even from the stands, there’s no missing the look of disappointment on her face. 

But as Madison moved on to her next event, she reminded me of some important lessons. Lessons I can apply to my writing goals. You may find them helpful as well.  

1. Be persistent.
Each time Madison fell off, she got back up and tried again. That’s what I need to do with my writing. I remember the first article I ever submitted. I spent hours trying to make it the best it could be. Finally, I mustered up the courage to submit it to a magazine. Months later I received a form letter saying, “Thanks, but no thanks.” I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I was tempted to quit. But like Madison, I needed to keep trying. After all, I’ll never succeed if I don’t try.

2. Surround yourself with people that will encourage you.
I love this quote by Joe Charbonneau: “People are either the wind in your sails or the anchor on your tails.” Throughout Madison’s beam routine, I could hear her teammates cheering her on. Even after her third fall one little girl yelled, “Come on Maddie, you can do it!” I’m very fortunate to have good friends who encourage me in my writing. They keep me going, even through times when I feel discouraged.

3. Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Learn from them.
Madison didn’t allow her struggles on the beam to affect her performance on her remaining events. Somehow she put her mistakes behind her and still finished the day well. Mistakes aren’t always a bad thing. Especially if you can learn from them. When it comes to my writing, I am always striving to learn more. I try to remind myself that I’m a better writer than I used to be, but not as great as I’m going to be.

Last month Madison competed at our state tournament. She ended the season with her best all-around score of the year. I was so proud of her hard work and perseverance – and very relieved when she stayed on the beam!

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A Model for my Marriage

5/7/2013

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My gpa was behind the wheel, Curt's gpa rode shotgun
One of my favorite memories from our wedding day was the ride to the reception. It was a beautiful day. A little breezy. Especially in the back of a 1909 Model T Ford. Curt and I laughed as I grabbed my veil, trying my best to keep it from flying off in a sudden gust of wind. 

I can hardly believe that was nineteen years ago. Nineteen years seems like a long time – until I think about the owners of that Model T. My grandparents. Compared to them, Curt and I are newlyweds.

They married in 1940. Gladys was twenty. Art was nineteen. He called her “Gladdy.” Together, they’ve persevered through 72 years of marriage. 

My grandparents never sat me down and explained how to stay married for seven decades. They just lived it. Day after day, year after year, they modeled a lifetime of self-sacrifice and determination. 

But I’d never seen a clearer picture of their promise than I did a couple years ago. It was the day they went into the nursing home.

Understandably, neither of them wanted to go. None of us blamed them for wanting to spend their final days in the comfort of their own home. For a few years, outside help allowed them to do that. But when Grandma’s dementia progressed, we knew staying home was no longer an option.
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Their three grown children came together and talked with them about the situation. Grandpa wasn’t pleased, but he understood what must be done. Grandma wanted no part of it. 

Eventually the day came when they had no choice. It was a difficult day for everyone. Taking grandma out of her home would be no small task. Grandma was stubborn, and they all knew they’d have a fight on their hands.     

“I have a home.” Grandma folded her arms like a strong willed two-year-old. She shook her head in protest as my mom gently ushered her toward the door. But when they reached the door, Grandma stopped.
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My grandparents - Easter 2011
“I am not doing this.” 

The kids looked at one another. Here we go, they thought. It was the moment they'd all been dreading. They didn’t want to upset Grandma. Of course they didn’t want to force her. But what could they do? Grandpa looked back from his walker.

“I need you with me, Gladdy.”

Grandma hesitated a moment, then followed Grandpa out the door and into the car.
Today they are still modeling their life-long commitment. Grandma fusses over Grandpa – and doesn’t much care for it when one of the aides takes care of him. That’s her job. He’s her husband.   

On my wedding day nineteen years ago, Curt and I had a long road ahead of us. But my grandparents have inspired me to go the distance. I am proud to be part of their legacy of love. They are a special couple who took very seriously the promise, “’til death do us part.”
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And away we go! Hang on to that veil!
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