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Under Attack

10/18/2017

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If you're a girl who grew up with brothers, you understand the torment I’ve faced. To be fair, I probably deserved it. I was an annoying little sister. I snooped through their stuff and tattled to Mom. Still, my brothers took such pleasure in picking on me.

One of my brothers had an interesting method of torture. He grabbed my arms, jerked them back and forth, and forced me to hit myself in the face. I grimaced and ducked, trying my best to dodge the inevitable smack. Then he’d laugh hysterically. “Stop it, Sheri! Stop hitting yourself!”

His pompous tone infuriated me. I clenched my fists, and with every bit of strength I could muster from my scrawny arms, tried smacking him back. But it never worked. He was four years older and a whole lot stronger. I only ended up punching myself, which provoked more teasing. “Come on Sheri! Why do you want to hurt yourself?”

As my brother jerked my arms around like a pair of rubber bands, I grew more and more angry. I felt so powerless. And very frustrated.

Strangely, I’ve had similar feelings during my fight against MS.

I remember the first time I heard a basic explanation of MS. “Multiple sclerosis is a disease in which the body attacks itself.” I was completely baffled. Why would my body want to attack itself? It’s like slapping myself in the face. It doesn’t make sense!

Yet, I had been beating myself up for years. I felt the effects daily. Headaches. Debilitating fatigue. Weakness. Pain.

Fortunately, I am beginning to find hope between each sucker-punch. Instead of continuing to clobber myself, I am making changes to take better care of myself.
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One example is my diet. I’ve found a real correlation between the foods I eat and how I feel. When I’m tempted to eat junk, I imagine a swift slap upside my head.

“Okay Sheri. I know that Twix bar looks good, but it will give you a headache. Do you really want to hurt yourself?”

Little by little, I am making positive changes in how I care for myself. And I can feel the difference.

Unlike the ridiculous fights with my brother, I am not helpless. My hands aren’t tied. I may be under attack, but I am empowered.
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